Modern life is very rich in various twists of fate. Spouses who love each other today may turn out to be sworn enemies tomorrow. And it very often happens that, at first glance, a strong marriage ends in a loud divorce process.
Today no one is surprised by the quirks of both men and women. But most often there are men who are torn into two families . And such an ambiguous situation occurs very often in the modern world. According to all laws in our country, polygamy is prohibited, it turns out that the status of one wife is considered legal, and the second woman will be a common-law wife. And often there are heirs in both families, and the wife knows that the man has a second family.
People always paint a picture of a kind, gentle wife and a bitch lover. But sometimes it happens that a decent man finds himself in such a situation. He sincerely tries to understand the situation, but it absorbs him completely. A man loves children, whom he does not intend to abandon, sympathizes with women, is afraid of losing both, is wary of shame and sidelong glances, does not know how to solve a huge problem. And a man’s life begins on two fronts.
This difficult situation brings a lot of suffering to families, because the man is trying to reconcile both families, and each woman wants to drag her loved one into her family. And it often happens that such complicated situations drag on for many years, and a man is torn into two families.
Reasons when problems arise due to family.
There are quite a few reasons when such families arise. The most common reason why such double families appear is the financial well-being of the man. Very rich men want to diversify their family life and take on a young mistress. The girl does not intend to lose her patron, and gives birth to his children, while receiving the unspoken status of the wife of second place. If a man is able to provide for both families himself, then women put up with the presence of a rival for fear of losing financial stability.
The second reason for the creation of such marriages is women's fear of loneliness. According to statistics, much fewer men are born than women, so a woman’s fear is quite justified. So she endures her rival, each living her own life, and sharing a man for years.
But there are also cases when a man really adores and idolizes both women and does not intend to part with each. They, in turn, are attached to one man. And it turns out to be quite a complex love triangle.
Often people live like this until the end of their days, but there are families who are desperately trying to find a way out of the current difficult situation. The main stage of solving a problem is understanding the truth - how such a situation can end. Once progress is outlined, the decision is made much easier. And strange marriages cannot be understood as something good and acceptable, because everyone, including children, feels incredible suffering.
Particularly destructive is endless jealousy. No matter what a woman says, in her subconscious she wants to return the man only to herself. And if she wants to achieve her goal, then there will be no rules for her.
There are very frequent cases when both wives during the Cold War cease to think about their actions. Quarrels cross all permitted boundaries. There have been cases of women disfiguring their faces with sulfuric acid.
Children suffer no less from such family stories. After all, most often a man lives with his legal wife, and pays less attention to his mistress. Children from the “second wife” may suffer from a lack of attention from their father, even though they are provided with everything financially.
Advantages and disadvantages of duplexes
Building and living in a house for two families has both its advantages and disadvantages. The first ones include:
- Significant savings on construction. One foundation and a roof are erected, as well as the general part of the walls; the cost of a twin house is about 1/8 cheaper.
- The installation of all engineering systems is also cheaper. General installation of electricity, heat, gas and water supply is carried out. In addition, it is necessary to heat not four, but three external walls, which also helps reduce costs. The total savings are 25-30%.
- A duplex in any case takes up less space than two separate houses.
The project of a house for two families has its undeniable advantages. However, there are also negative sides. Registration of shared ownership is mandatory. In addition, disputes are inevitable during the construction of a house or alteration of an existing structure. Long discussions are unlikely to be avoided.
What is the final decision for a man to make?
But no matter how much the rope twists, the end will definitely be found. No matter how many years a man splits his time between two families, one day he will have to make a final decision, after which one woman is left with terrible depression and the certainty that her personal life has not worked out.
The man in this whole story feels much better than the women. After all, in any case, he himself will not remain. But at the same time, he forgets how much pain he brings to both families. After all, a person who loves will never hurt loved ones.
Only the participants themselves can find a way out of a rather difficult situation. And here it is necessary to take into account how two women and a male instigator look at such a situation. If all participants in the love process are absolutely happy with everything, then further stumbling blocks are pointless. But if one of the members of the love triangle is suffering, then the problem must be solved urgently.
The wisest decision in married life remains one thing: married men should not have relationships with strangers, and women should never destroy other people’s families. This is the only way to be truly happy. Women need to value themselves and not fall for such confusing relationships. Such a person, accidentally bursting into life, will not bring anything good. You should respect yourself, consider yourself an individual, and then you will definitely find a soul mate.
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The woman is afraid that the man will be happy without her. Opinion on how bigamists appear in the country
A woman is abandoned by her husband... Let's not lament why and for what, let's not look for the guilty and extreme, let's not fantasize about what would have happened if...
De facto, there are two typical scenarios:
1) Hasta la vista, baby. They divided the property, sorted out child custody, and everyone went their own way. Maybe they maintained friendly relations. Maybe even a little nostalgia. Or maybe they parted ways like ships at sea.
2) I'll be back. The prodigal husband returns to his old family, and everyone is still waiting for him. In a month, in a year or even in a few years. Where and to whom he went, why and what he was looking for does not matter. It is important that there is a desire and opportunity to give the relationship a second chance.
What if your husband, like Schrödinger’s cat, doesn’t seem to have left completely, but is no longer with you?
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In one family, the following situation arose: after the husband was caught in treason, a decision was made to live separately, that is, he still left. Naturally, to the living space of a mistress who, as an unmarried, childless woman, welcomed this option in the hope that it would bring the moment closer when she, too, would receive her well-deserved piece of female happiness.
But then the following became clear: no one wants to get a divorce.
The wife, let's call her Ira, does not want to get a divorce, because she suddenly realized how much she loves her husband, so she is ready to forgive and forget everything, just to return to the old times. The former ones - in the sense without mistresses and betrayals.
But the husband didn’t understand anything, it’s just that divorce was never part of his plans, so when the passions subsided, he began to behave like an exemplary family man: helping with the housework every day, going shopping together on weekends, in general, a real idyll.
But with one small caveat: the husband does not spend the night at home.
I hope you see the contradiction: Ira has an official family-oriented husband without quarrels and scandals, but she does not feel happy because he lives in the house of another woman, who, by the way, also has almost everything: her beloved man has dinner and spends the night she has, but I don’t think she experiences full happiness.
The women simply swapped places, and as you know, changing the places of the terms does not change the sum.
The only one who is happy and content in this situation is the husband. He received an accommodating wife, who was afraid of the divorce and stopped arguing about his infidelities, and his mistress received the illusion of the development of the relationship and, most likely, became more supportive.
So we can’t count on our bigamist himself to break off relations with one of them. And both women are so afraid to look into a closed box that they prefer to live with a sense of faith in a living and dead cat at the same time.
Their premonition does not deceive them. What they see in the box will not please both of them: he does not love either of them.
Such a clear tendency towards unauthorized bigamy suggests that the object of their female competition is a selfish, calculating and selfish person, and he will, without regret, leave either of them or both of them as soon as something no longer suits him, and feelings will not matter here how.
Anything can happen in life. After all, this is how Mormon sister wives or Muslim wives live in a harem.
But the whole problem is that Ira does not live, but suffers. From jealousy, from resentment, from frustration, from anger, from despair and from inaction. Had she accepted a polygamous relationship or filed for divorce, there would have been nothing to discuss.
This situation made me think that sometimes the decision to separate can be difficult and unbearable , like the decision to amputate a leg due to gangrene.
For a woman, a relationship that does not suit her, but she is afraid to break it off, is full of melancholy.
In this case, a phenomenon akin to alcoholic codependency is observed, when the perception of the surrounding environment is completely distorted, so it is likely that the woman does not even see what psychological hell she lives in.
L.N. Tolstoy argued that “every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I would like to make a clarification here: all unhappy women are equally unhappy, and their attempts to improve and fix everything are always similar, regardless of the problem .
And, of course, everyone equally thinks from time to time that it’s time to give up everything, but women hesitate, doubt, believe that they have to wait and be patient.
The harsh truth is that gangrene cannot be cured, and husbands do not change.
Acts to be followed when building a second house on the site
Any constructed building must meet certain requirements, which are contained in Article 38 of the Town Planning Code of Russia:
- permissible height of the building, its number of storeys;
- percentage of development, that is, the dimensions of the building (along the external walls relative to the site). For example, if you purchased 6 acres of land and built a building 5 x 6 m. Thus, the total area of the house is 30 m2 (0.3 acres). This means that the building is 5% of the size of the plot;
- minimum setback (shortest distance from a residential building to the border of the land plot).
To find the answer to the question of whether it is possible to build a second residential building on the site, you should study the requirements for such a building. They are contained in paragraph 39 of Article 38 of the Town Planning Code of the Russian Federation: the building must have no more than three above-ground floors, its height should not exceed 20 m. The house may include rooms, as well as auxiliary premises to meet the household needs of residents.
Legalization of the construction of a second residential building on an individual housing construction site
With regard to land for individual development, the question often arises whether it is possible to build a second house on the same plot of individual housing construction. According to the law, the construction of one cottage is allowed on such land. The remaining buildings constructed will be auxiliary: a bathhouse, a barn, a garage.
What to do in a situation where 2 houses are built on one plot? To legalize the buildings, the land should be divided into two plots so that each of them contains one residential building.
When receiving documents, be prepared for difficulties, but this method is the easiest of all. If necessary, land plots should also be sold separately.
To divide the land, land surveying will have to be carried out. After this, the previous plot is deregistered and two new ones are installed, which were formed during the division. Then you can complete the land registration procedure. To contact the technical inventory bureau, prepare the following documentation:
- a document that confirms land ownership;
- an application drawn up according to the established template;
- address certificate;
- cadastral passport;
- a duplicate of your passport;
- consent of the owners.
How else can you build 2 houses on one individual housing plot?
To do this, when registering a second building, it should be given the status of a guest house (an auxiliary building or bathhouse with living rooms). Such a building will not have an address, and you will not be able to sell it separately from the main house, but in this case it will be easier to register the building.
Note!
To build a second house on the same plot, you should visit the city administration before construction work begins. Otherwise, it will not be possible to legalize the construction.
